Jokes From a Gag Book That I Don't Use

It's always more blessed to give them to receive especially if you're a professional boxer.

Airline gags

It's a good idea to get to the airline terminal to in check well before departure time. Why? The sooner you check in the sooner you find out about the delay.

When can you be reasonably certain of a delay in departure time? When you make your reservation.

When can you tell the plane is about to hit turbulence? The stewardess is serving coffee.

Ryanair: "Ladies and Gentlemen" the pilot announced, "the cabin attendants will now begin our food service. Since this is a low cost, no frills flights you are to take only one bite before passing the sandwich along."

Church Stuff

At a Eucanimical Conference, three chaplains sat together and discussed their personal battles against sinning. The Catholic chaplain said "I must confess to having a terrible impulse to drink, and often take a little too much." "Well," said the Protestant chaplain, I don't have too much trouble with drink, but I do have a terrible impulse to kiss strange women". After that there was a pause, and finally both turn to the Jewish chaplain and said "what about you?" and he said "well I have a terrible weakness for gossiping, and I can't wait to get out of here!"